You will change, then change again and then probably change some more.
Knowing that change is the only constant in life how do you deal with the changes? How do you reconcile your best made plans with your current reality? What is it that steers you through the changes?
This photograph was taken a few weeks ago and what I see is change. Startling at first despite knowing and feeling the change, seeing it brings it all home.
Having always been exceptionally flexible I have suffered with de-generation of the spine over the past few years. For about a year I was in debilitating pain and couldn’t even teach a class. After some rehabilitative pilates and yoga I found myself once again on the mat but in a very different space. This posture used to be so easy for me and I would go into a glorious open chested pigeon, hips sinking into the mat, arms extended over my head gracefully holding my toes. So my initial reaction to this photograph was a subtle disappointment, until I realised that I wasn’t looking at a lesser version of me.
I was looking at a greater version of me.
The person in this posture is not displaying the most beautiful pigeon ever seen. What matters in this photograph is the unseen. The determination to heal my body. The commitment to finding new ways of being. The refusal to give up. The sometimes painful days when it didn’t seem like there was a way out. The sleepless nights.
The triumph of succeeding. The joy of finding a new way of being.
That dear Readers is what you can’t see in this photograph. That dear Readers is change. That is yoga. It is being human.
When your world collapses – a yoga teacher with a bad back – how do you respond? What do you do? Do you give up? Do you find a way through?
Once you are through what do you do? Do you spend your days harking back to ‘better times’ or do you embrace your journey? Do you congratulate yourself for a defying the odds and emerging through the other side stronger?
It is an ongoing project to constantly remind myself of how far I’ve come, to look at that photograph with gratitude and loving kindness for my journey.
This photograph reminds me that I have conquered a huge stumbling block and although my new reality is different it still works. It reminds me that with loving kindness, gratitude and a positive attitude even the insurmountable is possible!